


Feeling a Mother's Love

by bwayfan25



Category: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Conversations, Gen, Home, Mother-Daughter Relationship, and fighting creatures, loosely connected to oblivion, mentions of fighting and creatures, skryim deleted my character and now i cant visit my skyrim children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28814508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwayfan25/pseuds/bwayfan25
Summary: From the moment she'd first met Lucia on the streets of Whiterun, Aterdasi knew that it was her responsibility to make sure the young girl was cared for. Since then, she'd taken the time to build them a home so that she could give the girl a safe place to live. But as she brings Lucia across the marshes of Morthal to their new manor house, she couldn't help but wonder if she had the skills necessary to be a good mother to her newly adopted daughter.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Feeling a Mother's Love

It had been a long time since Aterdasi had looked forward to sleeping in a bed of her own. Inns, camps, bedrolls deep in the dungeons she’d cleared out - they’d all suited her needs when she became too weary to keep going. But ever since she’d finally put the nails in her new homestead in the marshes of Hjaalmarch, the promise of a warm bed and a crackling fire had never seemed greater. 

It wasn’t _all_ her own, though, she reminded herself as she paused to scan the marsh ahead for the tell-tale signs of creatures lurking nearby. 

In fact, she’d never had much of an intention of buying or building a house in the first place. After all, she never seemed to stay in one place for long. Why spend the time and money to settle down when you knew were never settled for very long?

But, as with most things that had happened in Dasi’s life over the last several months (and years and, honestly, _decades),_ she didn’t so much go looking for the answer so much as the answer found her. And, in this case, the answer found her in the form of a young blonde girl. 

Dasi had gone to Whiterun with the intention of running errands. Her armor was due for an upgrade, she had several pounds of loot to sell, and she could probably do with a new bow if she could afford one. But in between stopping at the forge outside Warmaiden’s and making her way towards the Drunken Huntsman, a young orphan named Lucia asked her for a single gold coin. 

_“Why are you begging?” Dasi asked in concern as she reached for her coin purse._

_"It's... it's what Brenuin said I should do. He's the only one that's been nice to me since... since mama...Since she died,” Lucia replied with a sorrow that should not be present in such a young voice. “My aunt and uncle took over our farm and threw me out. Said I wasn't good for anything. I wound up here, but... I.. I don't know what to do. I miss her so much..."_

_“Here you go.”_

_As Dasi handed her the piece of gold, Lucia lit up._

_“You’re the best!” she said excitedly. “Can you be my mother?”_

Though Dasi knew that it was unlikely she’d been the first person asked this question, it nevertheless caught her off guard more than the sudden dragon attack at Helgen or the surprise bandit jumping out from behind the bush.

She wouldn’t make a good mother, she’d thought. Mothers were supposed to care for and protect their children. Protection she could do, so long as she had a mace and some health potions stowed away. But care? 

She didn’t think she was much for caring. Or at least, not in the way she felt a mother should be.

She felt she could care that the girl had enough to eat and that she had a safe place to sleep at night. And certainly she cared that she was kept far away from the dangers that lurked in the skies overhead and in the hearts of those with a lust for blood and mayhem. But was that enough?

Dasi really didn’t know, but she thought about it _constantly_. 

Every trek across the country, every trip across the plains and up and down the mountains, she wondered if she’d make an average mother. Not a good mother, an _average_ mother. Because, in her experience, even those were hard to come by.

It had started generations ago, when her great-great-great-great grandmother Andarasi, known throughout Tamriel better as the Hero of Kvatch, settled down to start a family. Her years of fame and recognition had worn her down already, but even she had it better than her twin daughters did. 

They’d been born into a world that had already decided nothing they did would ever live up to what their mother had accomplished. But, whenever they were told this (which was _quite_ often), they were inevitably told that expectations of greatness were still high. And even with the older of the two Avenasi eventually achieving a seat on the Council of Mages and the younger of the two Suvenasi serving as the Countess of Bravil, nothing they ever did was enough to fill their mother’s shoes.

This standard - trying to achieve greatness under the shadow of someone greater than they’d ever be - followed Dasi’s matriarchal line as strongly and consistently as did their signature white hair and the suffix of _-asi_ ending the name of every firstborn female child. But by the time the second century of the Fourth Era came around, the proclivity for greatness had lost its luster as did any lingering sense of motherly connection. 

Dasi’s grandmother Azurasi had taken to drink at a young age, which alienated her from her (already distant) family. When she fell pregnant and unable to name the father, they cut her off completely. Her daughter Aterasi had done very much the same, but, unlike Azurasi, she didn’t live long enough to drink herself to death.

Knowing all this, it was no surprise that Lucia’s question weighed heavily on Aterdasi’s shoulders. Generations of mothers and daughters had come and gone, the faded glory of their lineage a dark cloud that had robbed them of the ability to live normal lives. 

Aterdasi could be the first in her family since Andarasi, the famed Hero of Kvatch, to finally have a normal life. And yet, the very idea of that normalcy - of motherhood, of a family, of a _daughter -_ seemed to worry her as much as whatever may be waiting for her at the Western Watchtower.

_“What would that mean? Being your mother?” Dasi’d found herself asking Lucia. “What would I need to do?”_

_“Well… Do you have a house?” Lucia asked, her head cocked slightly to the side in question. “Somewhere where I could live with you?”_

_Dasi thought for a moment and then shook her head._

_“No. I don’t,” she replied solemnly. “I… I travel a lot.”_

_Lucia nodded, but Dasi could see the way she hung her head._

_“Oh. Well, that would be the first thing,” she said with a small shrug._

_“And what after that?”_

_Lucia looked at her in confusion for a moment before taking a moment to consider the question carefully. Then, she shrugged._

_“Take care of me, I guess?” she answered in slow hesitation. “And tuck me in at night sometimes? And maybe play games with me?”_

_Dasi took her own moment of consideration before nodding (though, to Lucia’s disappointment, in acknowledgement and not agreement)._

_“Here. Take this.” Dasi pulled another handful of coins out of her coin purse and handed them to Lucia. “Use that to get yourself something to eat. I’ll get you a room at the inn for the night, too.”_

It had been months since that first meeting, but the memory of it was as clear in Dasi’s head as it was the day it had happened. 

She began to visit Whiterun more frequently. And although she told herself it just happened to be the closest city to run her errands in, those errands always seemed to occur in tandem with visits to Lucia. 

First, it was considering a selection of girl’s dresses when unloading a pack full of goods at Belethor’s. Then, it was sneaking an apple off a nearby store shelf and tucking it into her pocket. And, of course, whenever she stopped in, she’d give the girl a handful of gold and pay Hulda at The Bannered Mare for as many inn nights as she’d allow. 

And, all the while, everytime Dasi went out to deliver something for someone or to descend into the depths of dungeons or clear Nordic tombs of their unliving inhabitants, she kept the idea of a house in the back of her mind. Every septim she pulled from a felled draugr or snuck from an unsuspecting merchant’s back room was an investment in her homestead, and, by extension, an investment in Lucia. (Even when she hadn’t yet realized she’d made her decision.)

Just as their first conversation would be seared into her memory forever, so was the look on Lucia’s face when she told her she’d finally be able to bring her home. The young girl had nearly burst into tears of excitement before hugging Dasi as tightly around the middle as Dasi’s steel plate armor would allow. 

She’d taken Dasi’s hand as her new Mama led her out to the stables to hire a carriage to Morthal. And when Dasi settled on the bench, instead of taking a seat opposite her, she sat right next to her and cuddled right up into her side their entire ride across Whiterun Hold and up into Hjaalmarch. 

“Are we almost there?” Lucia asked as she hopped between rocks. “Because my shoes are getting really wet.”

“It’s not too far,” Dasi replied as she turned back to her new ten-year-old daughter. “Just a bit further.”

“Are we going to have to go this way every time we go into town?” Lucia asked as her foot _squelched_ into a deep puddle. 

“Well, ideally, it will be Valdimar that goes into town. But, to answer your question, yes.”

Lucia stuck her tongue out at a passing dragonfly before hopping from her stone to more solid ground. Once there, she wiggled her left foot in an attempt to free the saltwater from her sodden shoe.

Somewhere nearby, a stick cracked. 

Both mother and daughter froze for a moment before immediately ducking into a crouch. 

“Is it another crab?” Lucia whispered as she glanced around. “Can I kill it? Like I did the other one?”

Before Dasi had the chance to answer, Lucia had already pulled out the glass dagger she’d been given after getting snipped at by a mudcrab within five minutes of them entering the marsh. Dasi had smashed it in a single strike, but had given Lucia the dagger just in case anything caught her by surprise, only for it to be _her_ that caught the next crab by surprise before it could even pop out of the water.

But, despite the girl’s eagerness (or surprising skill with a dagger), Dasi motioned for her to lower it. 

This was no crab. 

A lone bandit stalked through the trees several feet ahead of them. The tip of the Dwarven War Axe in his hand glinted in the sunlight as he paced back and forth, waiting for someone to rob (or worse).

“Keep quiet,” Dasi ordered as she carefully pulled her bow from her back. “And stay behind me.”

Lucia nodded and crouched even further. She checked that there was nothing on the ground behind her before taking a careful step back as her mother stepped forward. 

She watched, eyes wide with awe, as Dasi silently slipped an arrow from the quiver strapped to her back and readied it in the bow. Then, just as silently, she drew the shot back.

Keeping her breathing steady the best she could considering her audience, she waited for a moment before the man stepped into her view. 

With a _thwip_ and a _whoosh,_ the arrow flew in seeming slow motion over the reeds and water and caught its target right between the eyes. He crumpled into the water with a groan. 

Lucia made to run forward towards him, but stopped when she realized Dasi had not yet put down her bow. 

“Are there more?”

“There could be,” Dasi said, breathing out the words as she watched for signs of movement. 

But when none came, she lowered the bow and then slung it back over her shoulder. She didn’t rise though, instead choosing to slowly sneak her way forward towards the body until she could be sure that the bandit didn’t have any friends waiting nearby to avenge him.

There was still no movement around them as they reached the body, though, so Dasi took the chance to stand up a little straighter. But only for a moment as she then knelt down next to the body. 

“Stay back,” she warned as she heard Lucia following her. “I don’t… I don’t want you to see this.”

Lucia did as she was told, stopping just behind Dasi as the latter began to search the body. She stood up on her tiptoes to try and see over her head.

“What are you looking for?” Lucia asked, straining to see. 

“Anything that could be useful,” Dasi replied as she opened the bandit’s pack. “Like… money. And lockpicks.”

“Lockpicks?” Lucia asked, frowning. “You pick locks?”

Dasi stopped searching through the leather bag for a moment and looked up. It was a good thing her face was hidden under her helmet or else the red hot burn of her cheeks would have given away her impending lie before she could say it. 

“On chests. Down in dungeons,” she said quickly. “Sometimes they’re locked, so I need lockpicks to open them.”

Lucia nodded in understanding as tension relaxed from her little shoulders. 

_“Ohhhh,”_ she said, elongating the vowel. “I thought you meant you used them to break into people’s houses.”

Dasi nodded slowly, her face growing even hotter under the metal.

“....Yes. Right.”

Before Lucia could catch on, Dasi turned her attention back to the task at hand. She rifled a bit more through his bag before tossing it aside to search his person. 

She found a few more gold and another lockpick in his pocket. But just as she figured she’d gather as much as he had to offer, she noticed the green tint to his gauntlets. 

“I think these might be a bit better than mine,” she thought out loud as she yanked the one closest to her off of his arm. 

She took a moment to compare the orichalcum of the new gauntlets to the dwarven metal of her current ones before moving around to the other side of him to take off the other one. Once she had her pair, she stripped off her own gauntlets and tucked them away in her pack. 

In doing so, she didn’t notice the look of curiosity on Lucia’s face. 

“Your skin is kind of a different color than mine,” she remarked, glancing between her hand and Dasi’s currently-exposed hand. 

And, to her surprise, Dasi nodded. 

“That would be because you’re an Imperial and I’m not,” she replied as she pulled one of the orcish gauntlets. 

Lucia considered this for a second. 

“Does that mean you’re a Stormcloak?” 

Dasi chuckled and shook her head. She put the other gauntlet on, testing its fit by flexing her fingers a few times before standing up. 

“No. I mean that I’m not Imperial. I’m an Elf.”

“You’re an _Elf?”_ Lucia asked in surprise. 

Dasi would have been taken aback by the girl’s shock if she didn’t know her own propensity for full-mask helmets, so she just nodded. 

“What kind of Elf are you?”

“I’m a Bosmer.” At Lucia’s blank look, Dasi clarified, “A Wood Elf.”

This seemed to make more sense, as the girl nodded. Then, she paused again. 

“If you’re an Elf, does that mean you have pointy ears?”

“Yes, it does.”

“Can you hear better than people who don’t have pointy ears?”

It was Dasi’s turn to pause for consideration. 

“I…. I don’t know.”

Lucia took another moment to think and then just shrugged. Dasi nodded her on back towards where they’d been heading before ambushing their would-be ambusher. 

“If you’re an Elf, does that mean you’re not from Skyrim?” Lucia asked as she fell into step behind Dasi. “Because when I was staying at the inn, people always talked about Elves not being from Skyrim.”

Dasi took a moment to collect some fungal pods for potion making as she considered the question.

“Well, some Elves are. Because if they’re born in Skyrim, then they’re from Skyrim,” she said as she straightened up. “But I think what they meant is that their _people_ come from somewhere else. Which is true. My people come from a place called Valenwood. But I’m from Cyrodiil.”

Lucia hopped between a couple rocks to avoid a rather large puddle.

“So, your family moved from Valenwood to Cyrodiil, and then you moved from Cyrodiil to Skyrim?” At Dasi’s replying nod, Lucia’s brow furrowed. 

“Why did they leave Valenwood?”

“I really don’t know. It happened so long ago, I don’t think anyone knows anymore,” Dasi replied with a shrug. “I think the first person to leave was my great-great-great- _great_ grandmother. And I don’t really know much about her before she arrived in Cyrodiil. But whatever she did when she got there landed her in jail.”

“In _jail?”_

“Mm-hmm,” Dasi replied, nodding. “We don’t know exactly what she did, but whatever it was, she was in jail when she met the Emperor.”

Lucia frowned at the ground as she watched her step.

“The Emperor was in jail, too?”

“No, the Emperor was trying to escape and the secret passage to escape was in the jail. In her jail cell, actually,” Dasi explained. “The Emperor’s sons had recently been killed and he thought he was next, so his protectors were trying to help him escape. But as they were trying to get out, the Emperor said that he thought she was special. 

“So, she followed them out the passage, but then they got split up. When she found the Emperor again, he told her that it was up to her to help save the world. He gave her a special amulet and told her to go find the person who could help her.

“It turned out that he had another son - a _secret_ son - who was still alive. She went out to find him, but he lived in a city called Kvatch and, when she got there, she found that the entire city had been destroyed. The Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon was trying to invade Tamriel from his plane of Oblivion, and it was up to her and the secret son to defeat him and save the world. And they did.”

Dasi stepped onto a patch of dry land and turned to look at Lucia. Just as she did so, Lucia took one final leap and landed on the dry patch next to her. She dusted herself off and then looked up at Dasi, her curiosity alight on her face.

“And then did the secret son become your great-great-great-great grandpa?”

“No, no. Unfortunately, in order to save the world, he had to sacrifice himself,” Dasi informed her. “He had to die so that everyone else could live. And since we’re all still here, we know that he did.”

Lucia took a moment to consider this. 

“That was nice of him.”

Dasi shrugged in acknowledgement before turning back around. In the distance, she could see the outline of Windstad Manor through the fog.

As she made to continue on, she felt a little hand take hers. 

“Do you still have family in Cyrodiil?”

“I… I probably do. To be honest, I don’t really know.” Dasi heaved a sigh. “My mother died when I was young and I never really knew my father. I lived with my aunt and uncle.”

“That’s like me!” Lucia said, brightening for a moment before she grimaced. “Did your aunt and uncle kick you out too?”

“No. They were fine,” Dasi replied, shaking her head. “They just had a lot of children of their own and not a lot of money, so I spent a lot of time on my own or working on their farm to help grow the crops. When I got old enough, I joined the Fighter’s Guild and started traveling more.”

“And fighting people?” Lucia concluded, her little brow furrowing. 

“When I needed to,” Dasi said with another shrug. “But mostly I was helping people. Protecting them, solving problems. And I liked doing it, but everyone else always talked about the Guild as a family, and I never really felt that. It always just felt like a job to me. A way to make money.”

“So, how did you end up in Skyrim then?”

“By accident,” Dasi said with a slight chuckle. “I’d just completed a job in the city of Bruma, which is in the northern part of Cyrodiil. It had paid a bit more than usual, so I decided I was going to take a break and spend some time exploring. 

“I headed north into the Jerall Mountains and, at some point, crossed over into Skyrim. I didn’t notice at first because it all looked the same, but soon I started to see different ruins and realized I had gone too far north. 

“But when I turned around to go back down south and cross the border back into Cyrodiil, Ulfric Stormcloak was doing the same thing. And the Imperial soldiers thought I was trying to help him escape, so they arrested me and took me to Helgen to-”

“To go to jail?” Lucia asked in concern. 

Dasi hated to lie, but considering the alternative was a bit too… _graphic_ to share, she just nodded. 

“Yes. To take me to jail. But before they could, uh, _put_ me in jail, a dragon swooped down and attacked the town. Burnt down everything in its path.”

It took a moment for Dasi to realize Lucia had let go of her hand. When she turned around to look, one hand instinctively reaching for her mace, she found the young girl looked more scared than she’d seen yet.

“You mean the dragons are _real?_ ” Lucia asked in a tiny, terrified voice. “I thought they were just stories. Stories people told to scare each other.”

“I think we all thought they were stories. But they’re not.”

Lucia’s expression grew even more scared. 

“Is a dragon going to swoop down here?” she asked, panic rising in her voice before she looked up at the sky. “Is it going to attack us?”

Dasi laid what she hoped was a reassuring hand on Lucia’s arm and knelt down in front of her. 

“I don’t think any dragons are going to swoop down here,” she said in an even voice. “And if they do, I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe, okay?”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Dasi replied, nodding. “That’s part of my job as your new Mama. To keep you safe.”

Lucia looked from Dasi up to the sky once more before nodding. Dasi rubbed her arm affectionately for a moment before standing up. Assured of her safety, Lucia retook Dasi’s hand as they continued down the last stretch of marsh. 

As Windstad Manor came into view, Dasi could hear Lucia mutter an awestruck _“Wow,”_ under her breath. 

They slowed to a stop several feet from the front door. In a moment of emotion, she couldn’t quite explain, she scooped Lucia up into her arms and settled her on her hip. 

(Though Dasi considered herself to be quite strong, the action nevertheless gave her the distinct feeling that she was carrying too much to run.)

“What do you think?” Dasi asked. “Do you think it’ll work?”

“It’s so _big,”_ Lucia said as she gazed in wonder at the manor house ahead. “We get to _live there?”_

“If you want to.”

Lucia nodded emphatically several times before throwing her arms around her again in another big hug. 

Dasi hugged her back for a long moment before setting her back down. Lucia didn’t wait a moment before taking her hand and excitedly pulling her towards the front door.

“Honored to see you again, my Thane,” Valdimar greeted as Dasi led them in through the front door. “And who might this young lady with you be?”

“This is my daughter Lucia,” Dasi informed him with a hint of pride in her voice before glancing down at Lucia. “Lucia, this is Valdimar. He is our housecarl. He helps look after the house and will help look after you when I go on my trips.”

Lucia gave the housecarl a small wave, but hung back behind Dasi’s legs. The Nord did not seem, after all, like the most approachable of men, given his armor and gruff expression. 

He didn’t seem to take offense to her reaction either, though, and instead just greeted her with a deep bow. 

“It is an honor to meet you, Miss Lucia,” he said as he straightened up. “As housecarl, I am sworn to protect my Thane as well as their family and their homestead, which means I am sworn to you just as much as I am your mother. It will be a great honor to serve you.”

Though Lucia perked up slightly at the title ‘Miss,’ the sincerity of a stranger swearing to all but die for her made her pull back even more. 

“Perhaps you could begin preparing dinner while I show Lucia the rest of the house?” Dasi said (read: instructed) as she laid a gentle hand on Lucia’s shoulder. 

“Of course, my Thane.”

Dasi nodded once before leading Lucia on. 

As Dasi led her through the Great Hall, Lucia replayed the meeting from a moment ago over in her head. Once she’d pulled her thoughts together, she dropped her voice to barely more than a whisper so as not to be overheard,

“Mama?”

“Yes, Lucia?” 

“Is he my Papa?”

Dasi was so taken aback by the question that she actually stopped walking. 

“Uh, no. He’s not.”

Lucia nodded, clearly still thinking. 

“Do I have a Papa?” she asked, narrowing her eyes in curiosity. 

“No.”

She nodded again. 

“ _Will_ I have a Papa?”

“I… don’t know,” Dasi answered honestly. “Maybe you’ll have a Papa. Maybe you’ll have another Mama. I don’t know.”

“Another Mama? _Really?”_

“If Lady Mara so desires,” Dasi replied with a shrug. 

Lucia had never heard of Mara, the Mother Goddess and Goddess of Love, could ever lead a woman to fall in love with another woman like she would a man. But then again, she’d never heard that she _couldn’t._ (Dasi hadn’t either when she was her age, but reconsidered the subject as a young woman when she’d been complimented by an Altmeri priestess of Auri-El while traveling and found herself unable to think of anything else for the rest of the day.)

Dasi led Lucia through the Armory on the east wing of the manor and then to the Alchemy Laboratory in the north tower before showing her the bedrooms of the west wing. Though the young girl had grown more and more excited with every room she visited, it was nothing compared to the excitement she felt upon getting to see her own bed for the first time.

She got her own bed and her own dresser and even her own practice dummy that she could use to practice her dagger-wielding skills. And, according best of all, it was only one room away from her Mama, so she knew she was always close by in case she ever got scared. 

By the time they’d walked a second lap around the house so that Lucia could take in everything again, Valdimar had their dinner ready.

He excused himself to the other room while they ate to give them both a touch of privacy. Though Dasi knew Lucia would need to get more comfortable around him in the meantime, it was nice to share the first meal of their new home with just the two of them. 

Lucia listened to Dasi’s tales of her forays across Skyrim with the same level of enthusiasm that she had for their meal and the tour of the house. Her enthusiasm was dampened somewhat though, when Dasi informed her that they would play in the morning but the rest of the time before bed would need to be dedicated to a bath. 

Valdimar had the washbasin ready before they’d even excused themselves from the table, so Dasi and Lucia picked out a nightdress from Lucia’s room before Dasi led her to the washroom.

“When you’re done and dried off, I’ll come tuck you into bed. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Dasi nodded and made to close the door, but stopped when she heard Lucia call out, “Mama?”

“Yes, Lucia?”

“When you come to tuck me in, can you take your helmet off?” she asked before adding a slightly sheepish, “It’s kinda scary. It makes you look like you have horns.”

Dasi was so used to wearing armor that she hadn’t even considered taking it off and changing into something else upon returning home. And the Masque of Clavicus Vile, with its carved face and steel horns, was not exactly the most motherly of headdresses.

“Yes. I’ll change before I come in,” she assured Lucia. “And I’ll even tell you how I got this by helping a talking dog return to his master.”

Chuckling to herself as Lucia looked both incredibly excited about the prospect of getting to hear the story as well as incredibly disappointed that she had to wait until after a bath to do so, Dasi closed the door behind her and turned for her room.

She found a set of quilted blue robes in one of the manor’s wardrobes, which she changed into after putting her armor on one of the mannequins in the Armory.

Unsure of what else to do in the meantime, she wandered towards the Alchemy Laboratory and experimented with some new ingredients she’d found recently. But even the intrigue of mixing new potions wasn’t enough to keep her mind occupied while Lucia took her bath. 

After what seemed like hours (but realistically was only about twenty minutes), she heard the sounds of water dripping and then footsteps making their way from the washroom to the bedroom. 

Dasi followed them, but found Lucia not waiting in bed but instead kneeling on the floor in front of an open chest.

“That doesn’t look like getting ready for bed.”

Lucia jumped slightly in surprise. She glanced up at Dasi, a few droplets of water flying from her damp hair before looking back at the chest. 

“I was gonna get in bed, but then I started thinking about you going on your trips and how, now that I have a chest to put stuff in, I can collect things in it to show you when you come back,” Lucia explained as she held up the Rock Warbler egg she’d found in a nest at the top of the tower earlier. Then, her expression hardened. “I tried to keep flowers and stuff I found for you in Whiterun, but Braith would always take them from my pack when I wasn’t looking.”

She let out an aggrieved huff. 

“I’m really glad I don’t have to see her anymore. She was _mean.”_

Lucia let out another huff and then finished carefully putting the egg into the chest before climbing into bed. She pulled the blankets up over herself and tucked her new doll into the crook of her arm before motioning for Dasi to join her. Dasi obliged, crossing the room and taking a seat at the foot of the bed. 

But when Dasi turned to her and smiled, Lucia’s cheerful expression suddenly disappeared and was replaced with one of great fear. She even went so far as to pull back away from her. 

“What?” Dasi asked worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

“What…. What happened to your eyes?”

Dasi blinked in confusion for a moment before she realized what she was talking about and immediately squeezed her eyes shut.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” she apologized as she turned away from Lucia. “I forgot you…. I forgot that you hadn’t… seen them…yet.”

Just like Lucia hadn’t known Dasi was an Elf because her face (and ears) was always hidden beneath her helmet, she had never yet caught a glimpse of Dasi’s eyes either. 

Though they had been dark like other Wood Elves a long time ago, they were not any longer. Instead, they were an opaque white, hazy with the scars of an old injury Dasi didn’t often think about. (Or, perhaps, just tried not to.)

Dasi opened her eyes, but did not turn back to Lucia, choosing instead to stare resolutely at the floor. Lucia just looked at her for a moment before scooting a bit closer towards her to get a closer look now that the initial shock had faded. 

“Did… Did you get hurt?” she asked as she looked at Dasi in profile.

Dasi nodded. 

“A long time ago,” she replied quietly. “I was out hunting with my uncle and we were attacked by something called a dreugh. It’s a sort of spider-like creature that… that can shock you if it touches you.”

Dasi inhaled deeply as she recalled the memory of the ambush from so long ago. Even now, seventeen years later, she felt like she could still hear the sounds of the forest around them, smell the beast as it came near, feel the ground beneath her feet shake at its approach. 

“It was very strong. Almost too strong for the both of us,” she continued. “At one point, I was knocked to the ground. And before I could get it up, it swiped me across the face with its claws. And, well, shocked me.”

Lucia inched a little bit closer to Dasi, who still had not looked up. 

Gently, she reached up and touched a faded - but still highly visible - pink scars that ran from the side of Dasi’s nose down to her chin. 

“Is this where it scratched you?”

Dasi nodded. She shivered slightly at the touch, which made Lucia pull her hand away. 

“I don’t remember a lot of what happened after that,” Dasi admitted. “My uncle told me that he managed to defeat it and then picked me up and carried me back to the farm. He and my aunt said I slept for several days. And when I finally woke up, I couldn’t see.”

“You can’t _see?”_ Lucia asked, her voice slightly panicky. 

“I can now. It took a long time, but eventually my vision started to come back. Things have always been a little bit… blurrier since then, but I can see well enough. But this…” Dasi gave a vague motion towards her eyes and then closed them once more. “This never went away.”

From the corner of her eye, Dasi could see Lucia nod. 

“I guess it’s kinda silly to ask that,” the young girl said with a sigh. “Because you have to see to be able to fight monsters like you do.”

“It certainly makes it easier,” Dasi replied, nodding. “Though, when we thought it wasn’t going to get better, I went to live with a mage who had never been able to see. He started teaching me how to use magic to know what was around me. Including monsters.”

Dasi chanced a glance at Lucia to see what she’d thought of the idea, but when their eyes met, Lucia’s slight smile faded back into a look of concern, which made Dasi look away again. 

This looking away, though, didn’t make Lucia feel better the way Dasi had intended. In fact, it seemed to make her feel worse, as her concern quickly grew into full-on sobs as she threw herself forward into Dasi’s arms. 

For a long moment, Dasi ignored the guilt rising in her chest and just held Lucia. But as the moment drew on and Lucia’s crying didn’t slow, Dasi squeezed her eyes shut again. 

“Lucia,” she whispered. “Lucia, do you want me to put my helmet back on? Because I will.”

Lucia did not answer, but just continued to cry. Dasi just squeezed her tighter to her. 

“Lucia, I want you to feel safe here. I want you to feel safe with me,” she murmured as she stroked Lucia’s back. “I don’t want you to be scared. So, I can put my helmet back on if that will make you feel less scared.”

At this, Lucia sat up. She wiped at her eyes before shaking her head.

“I’m-I’m-I’m not scared. I’m-I’m _sad._ I’m sad that you got hurt,” she told Dasi sincerely. “I don’t want you to get h-hurt. And I-I’m scared that you’re gonna get hurt. I-I-I don’t want to lose another Mama!”

With this, Lucia threw herself back into Dasi’s arms. Dasi squeezed her for a moment before pulling the girl fully onto her lap and wrapping her arms tightly around her. 

She’d spent so long thinking and preparing for what she was supposed to do that she hadn’t stopped to think that just being there was enough in itself. But, as she held Lucia tight to her, feeling her own tears begin to roll down her cheeks, her thoughts turned to the time she was going to spend _not_ being there.

The scars on her face and the white of her eyes were not the only visible signs of her past and the way she made her living. There were more hidden under the cloth of her robes, etching out story after story across her skin, and even more lurking within her mind that surfaced at certain sensations or when she went to sleep. 

Lucia already understood that she was going to do away for days on end, and clearly, she understood that this meant there was a possibility she would not return?

Had her effort to give Lucia a better life than that cold and alone on the streets of Whiterun have possibly doomed her to the same grief she’d already felt? Had all of her worries about being an average mother and doing the right thing for the young girl she was trusting herself with be for naught when she could fail her just as much by a surprise attack or lucky hit by another’s blade?

No, she thought. She would not let that happen. But nor would she lie.

“I can’t promise you I’ll never get hurt,” she assured Lucia softly. “But I promise you I will always come home.”

Lucia cried for another moment before sitting up slowly and wiping her eyes again. She looked up at Dasi.

“You promise?”

Dasi took Lucia’s hand in her own. She squeezed it as she nodded, hoping that her touch could convey her sincerity in a way that words alone could not.

When Dasi’s hand fell away, Lucia wiped at her eyes again with her sleeve. 

She looked up at Dasi for more reassurance, but, though she was still gently rubbing a hand across her back, she had not looked down at her. Slowly, she reached a hand up again, this time touching Dasi’s cheek.

Dasi took a deep breath and looked down at her, waiting for her to recoil again, but she didn’t. Instead, she just lifted her other little hand to Dasi’s other cheek.

Dasi closed her hand over it, her heart beating quickly as the young girl took another moment to observe her new mother closely. She had long since grown past the self-consciousness of her youth, but the events of the last few minutes and the spoken and unspoken promises binding them together allowed that anxiety to return en force.

“You have white hair,” Lucia commented after a moment. “I thought only old people had white hair.”

“All the women in my family have white hair. Just like we all have names that end in _-asi._ I think that started with my great-great-great-great grandma too. She was Andarasi, her daughters both had names that ended in _-asi,_ and it continued down all the way to my mother Aterasi and then, to me, Aterdasi.”

Lucia moved her hand from Dasi’s cheek to gently touch Dasi’s hair. Then, she cocked her head in question. 

“Should I change my name?”

“Change _your_ name?” Dasi asked, her brow furrowing slightly. “Why would you need to change your name?”

“Well, you just said that all the girls in your family have names that end in _-asi,_ and now I’m a girl in your family. So, should I change my name?”

Dasi gave a slight chuckle. She lifted Lucia’s hand from where it had been held against her cheek and kissed it. 

“You can change it if you want to, but I like the name Lucia. I think it’s pretty. Like you.”

Lucia smiled broadly and then wrapped her arms around Dasi again. Her head seemed to fit perfectly underneath Dasi’s chin as they hugged, giving her the feeling that this was meant to be by forces well beyond themselves. 

They sat there for another long moment, though this one was filled with comfortable silence instead of terrified tears. The only reason Dasi lifted her head and broke it apart was because she heard Lucia let out a big yawn.

“It’s been a long day,” she whispered, stroking Lucia’s hair affectionately. “How about I tell you the story about the talking dog before you go to sleep?”

Lucia looked like she was about to protest, but before she could, she was silenced by another yawn. So, she gave in and just nodded. 

She crept back under the covers and tucked her doll back underneath her arm. But though she looked attentive, Dasi had barely begun to tell of her and Barbas’ excursion out of Falkreath before her eyes began to grow heavy.

Figuring they could pick it up in the morning, Dasi carefully rose from the bed. She blew the candles out and crept her way to the door. 

And in the moment before she closed it behind her, she heard a little voice murmur, _“Love you, Mama.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed this little mother-daughter fic. It was not somethign I'd been planning on writing (let alone writing this much of), but the idea hit me the other day and I knew I couldn't continue any of my other stuff until I got this out of my system. I've spent the last two years or so pretty much _exclusively_ writing fanfiction about mothers and daughters, but getting hit with a _Skyrim_ idea was kinda out of the blue. I write pretty prolifically for the 90s medical drama _ER_ , which I will be returning to now that I've finished this, but I figured I'd share it here with you.
> 
> I tried _Skyrim_ out a few years ago briefly, but really got into it this summer. I moved in with my fiancé during quarantine and therefore married into PS3 privileges. (Well, not _quite_ married because we had to move our wedding due to COVID, but you get the idea.) I've always loved open world games, but _Skyrim_ was really great this year especially as it fulfilled my deep seated need to wander around and visit other cities and places without worrying about a pandemic. 
> 
> This led to me getting _Oblivion_ for Christmas, which you can probably tell by the references to it here. Though it was enjoyable to play, I found myself missing several of the game mechanics that were improved in _Skyrim._ And, of course, I missed my Skyrim children. My fiancé got the DLC since I was playing so much, and almost as soon as _Hearthfire_ was downloaded, I started adopting children. Lucia was first, but Sophie in Windhelm quickly followed. Only after them did I do the marriage side-quest and marry the nice Riften blacksmith.
> 
> I decided to boot up _Skyrim_ , but wanted to make a new character that, in my head, was the descendant of my _Oblivion_ character. However, it was then that we learned of the "one prisoner file" glitch that autosaves over the previous file if you didn't make a separate save file. So, when I went to make my new character, my level 62 Guildmaster Arch-Mage Imperial Legate Frederika disappeared. Which, in addition to just being a terrible game flaw and really, really frustrating, meant that I couldn't go visit my girls when I went to Solitude :( 
> 
> In this new game with a new character, I have already been doing some things differently and thinking about different choices I can make having played through once before. What order would I play quest lines? Would I dedicate myself to melee or archery or maybe even magic? Would I marry Bolimund again or go with someone else? As a bisexual, I appreciate the game mechanics allowing you to marry anyone you've helped out, so I could very well go with Mjoll the Lioness this time. (But the big buff blacksmith looks at you so tenderly after you've gotten married, so it's a very hard choice.) 
> 
> However, off all the different choices to make, one I'm not going to change is which children I adopt. I knew that the first time I ran into Lucia in Whiterun and then again when I saw Sophie in Windhelm. We might not live in the same house, but I'm too attached. 
> 
> Anyways, this has been way too long. I hope you've enjoyed it. I've gotta get back to my other fics and building the manor house so that I can bring my girls home. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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